I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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