i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
