Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
