Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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