her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
