Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
