So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
