i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
