Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
