Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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