nut hugger
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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