so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
