i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she peed on how many people?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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