he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize