As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
