I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
