Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
