Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
