theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Shame - the story of my life.
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