look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
