No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
