i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
