1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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