i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
