No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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