KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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