i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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