Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
