bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
