You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She bit a glass in half.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize