he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Randomize
