I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
