I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
