Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
