That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
