This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize