wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
