my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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