Swine flu. Run for my life!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
