From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
