yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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