Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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