hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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