I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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