we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize