He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize