As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize