dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
