I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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