So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
