Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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