I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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