She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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