and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
