So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
