That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
