Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
