You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
