apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
