I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
