even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
